Changing Your Clothes Will Change Your Life

One of the most important things women who have experienced domestic violence can do is to build up their own self-esteem and start loving themselves. In my very first guest blog post, Kami Woodward, Wardrobe Mentor ( explains how to give yourself permission to be you and love yourself!

Perfect Pink High Heel
They were the perfect pink high heels. I was 11 years old and they were the most beautiful shoes I had ever seen in my life. My mom and I were shopping to replace my worn-out scuffed-up black church shoes and I spotted the pink ones. There were only two obstacles: 1) they weren’t on sale and 2) my mom thought they were ridiculous.

I grew up in a family where you didn’t ask for things because the answer was always “no” for money reasons. But I wanted these shoes. I didn’t want another pair of boring black flats – I wanted grown-up fancy pink high heels! I begged. I pleaded. I promised the moon and more…and finally my mom said “yes”. She also said, “You’ll end up not wearing them because they won’t match anything – they are bright pink!”

I love my mom but she was wrong. I LOVED those shoes! I felt beautiful, feminine, and all grown up. They were my “power shoes” that I wore when I needed extra confidence. And as a nerdy pre-adolescent? I needed extra confidence a lot! I wore those shoes over and over and over until the bottoms fell off and the heels cracked SIX YEARS later. Like I said; they were the perfect pink high heels!

Do you remember your first piece of clothing that you LOVED? That went beyond function and practicality and transformed the way you felt about yourself? Think for a moment.

I’m a wardrobe mentor specializing in the emotional and energetic side of fashion and I often ask my clients this same question. Do you remember the feelings that piece of clothing (or accessory) sparked inside of you?

Confident. Beautiful. Powerful. Happy. Courageous. Joy. Strong. Giddy. Feminine. Sexy. Fun. Comfortable. Like YOU.

What you wear is powerful. Everything we put on our bodies has an emotional energy to it. This is the difference between that first piece of clothing that you LOVED and the old t-shirt your ex-boyfriend left at your house. The difference between your wedding dress and the sweater you had on when you found out your mother passed away. Fashion is emotional and what we choose to wear perpetuates those emotions in our lives.

When you get dressed in the morning, do the clothes in your closet make you smile? Do they make you feel as amazing as I did in my pink high heels? Why not? What the heck happened?!

There are 4 levels of wearing clothing:

1) It covers your naked bits
2) It is practical (coats in wintertime) and functional (pants to ride a bike)
3) It is what you like and in your unique style
4) It is 100% perfect energy, emotion, style, ideal for the occasion, and makes you look like a million dollars

The vast majority of people have achieved level 1 (they aren’t naked) and level 2 (what they are wearing allows them to function in their lives). Your wardrobe transitions from logical to emotional when you take it to level 3. Whether it’s your whole wardrobe or just a few outfits, this is where changing your clothes will change your life.

Those feelings you had with your first piece of LOVED clothing? Those are level 3 feelings. You can decide to feel that same confident, beautiful, powerful, happy energy each day when you get dressed. That’s a level 3 wardrobe. Imagine getting dressed into something you enjoy wearing and that’s your unique style. You are feeling powerful! There’s a smile that’s big and permanent on your face, shoulders are back, and you’re walking tall. You’ll go downstairs to breakfast and interact with your family differently because today, you are powerful! Then you’ll go to work and your relationships with your coworkers will be better because today, you are powerful! Throughout your whole day, you are successful, accomplished, and respected because you physically put on power that morning in the form of an outfit you love.

Remember: what you wear is powerful. Changing your clothes will change your life. And if you ever get off track, just remember your most LOVED piece of clothing and the feeling it gave you.

I challenge you to pick an emotion from your memory of most LOVED clothing and apply it to your wardrobe today. For example, if your emotion is “powerful”, then ask yourself when you get dressed: “Does this make me feel powerful? Why or why not?” Then make the adjustments necessary to move towards a more “powerful” personal style. You can do this! Find YOUR “perfect pink high heels”!

(If this is all a little overwhelming but sounds good and you’re ready to make a change, reach out to me at for a free 30 minute wardrobe consultation.)

Published by BrandyLockwood

I am a single mom of a very active Autism Spectrum Disorder school age son. I am a survivor of Domestic Violence and teach you how to fly free and take off from the cycles that hold you down.

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