Changing the Language of Domestic Violence and Abuse

Did you know 7% of your message is conveyed through words? That’s a tiny sliver. 38% is through tone and the other 55% is through body language. Since only 7% of your message is conveyed through words, do you think it’s important to be aware of the words you speak?

Choosing the right words when you speak is essential to create the environment and the world you want to experience.

A study has shown that when we think thoughts to ourself, they are more powerful when we think our own name, rather than thinking the pronoun ‘I’. Seriously. Find a time when you have thought to yourself using your name or the word you. I realized I naturally did this whenever I needed a little encouragement. I would think to myself Brandy, it’s okay baby girl, you got this. And I would instantly calm down and be able to easily accomplish the task at hand.

There are key words we can use to encourage other people to do things. Any idea what those key words are? Try ‘please’ ‘thank you’ ‘because’ and even nicknames or pet names for family and friends. These words soften a person’s natural defenses and help them to feel more open and loved. Try it sometime.

For me, working with domestic violence, the word I work to avoid the most, is the word ‘victim’, as long as we keep using that word when referring to these women, we will continue to send them the message that there was nothing they could do and that they were helpless.

Now while I know at times these women are physically unable to help themselves, a man is SO much stronger than a woman, I believe in giving the woman the power of thought that she is not a victim, that she can and will break free and survive. The term I prefer to use (even though I know it’s a bit longer) is ‘person who is experiencing abuse’. The abuse you’re facing does not define you. That is not all that you are and it is not who you are.

You are strong, beautiful, sexy and capable. You know what is best for yourself and you are making the choices that are best for you and your children. Every thing will be okay.

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